Dear Teachers, you may not know you are creating a space for parents, but you are. You have their little one. They are exposed and you can see them. You may not know some of them are grieving, but they are. Your role is profound, quite possibly more profound than you realize.
Some parents are traversing the grief cycle over and over. Their child lives in danger, lives in poverty, is bullied, has chronic illness, has a visible disability, has an invisible disability, is rejected and alone, or something is wrong and we don’t know what.
We are discussing creating places of , and room at the . So, we must consider the tapestry of this grief.
My story of grief
began here, 20 years ago. In the first moments of motherhood; my image of perfection shattered as I began painting on a new tapestry. I was planning on being in Italy with my strong, capable, and handsome son. I wound up in Holland with my courageous, wise, and fighting son. Our story is not a tragic one; it is one of overcoming! Yet, there has been grief.
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A Parent’s Grief
My experience and the experience of two decades in education have taught me that we are creating spaces for parents painting on the tapestry of grief.
The tapestry of grief is filled with vivid colours and wild imaginations of what might become of our little one. It is some days victorious and others days a dog-fight.
Living with a disability or difference is a point of grief. It is over-and-over-and-over-again grief. Each time we have to face the struggle our child is having, each time our secret shame spills over, each time we are exhausted with the climb, we paint on grief.
Create an Art Studio
Teachers, what if our classrooms are a place to paint? We can paint a ‘messy-togetherness.’ Safe to be angry or apathetic or exhausted. Our classrooms could be a safe-haven for children and for grieving parents. We may even need the help of other parents in the room. We for sure will need to be resourced and strong.
So, as we consider inclusion and the diversity of experiences in our classrooms, we must consider the parents. I know it is an expansion of our work. I realize there are only a few touchpoints. But, when they arise, they matter. Let’s embrace the opportunity to connect. The parents need you.
Grief cycles around and around
Paint a ‘messy-togetherness’
The cycle of grief is a reality I am profoundly aware of in my relationships with parents. It is a real dynamic and we must create safety for these families.
I can see denial – anger – bargaining – depression – acceptance everywhere. What I pray is that I don’t lose a family during one of those stages, because often they get to fight-flight. It is a normal response because they are experiencing a trauma. Have you seen this?
At this juncture, do you need some practical ideas? Are you preparing for a Back-to-School Night or parent event? Journal about these two posts. Dream about them. Write intentions on your white board. Be B.R.A.V.E. Be at the Table of Learning. Be your whole-hearted self.
What are the new needs you see in your classroom this year? Can you imagine the parents who may be grieving? I’d love to hear the stories, so join us on Facebook or Instagram to share this week.
For the sake of the children,
Karine
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