These days I am more afraid than usual.

Usually, I’m not a very fearful person.  Luckily, I enjoy the securities of privilege, love, and a homeland untouched by war in the last two generations.

However, this pandemic has shaken a foundation somewhere in me and I feel more unsettled.

I notice it in the little things:  my nervous system, my responses to my loved ones, the way I feel when I’m out in public, my sleep, the strain of the next official document arriving into my inbox from our school’s authorities.

At our school, our focus is to design the safest back-to-school plan in order to achieve the ultimate goal of having students in-class.  Our new Director of Operations has made ‘COVID-friendly protocols and procedures’ her full-time job for the last number of weeks.

For sure, I know we have a plan that is thorough, complies with the health authorities, adapts for our context, and prioritizes health for our community.

Yet, there’s something safer that I long for…

What transforms my longing for “safety” into “brave”?  How can I lead with confidence?  In other words, how will I move to a more balanced place of focus on the holistic student experience?

In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, holocaust survivor, writes,

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

I want to enter into the invitation to change me.

I dig deeper…

What is ‘safety’?  What more can I do to cultivate safety in school during a pandemic?  I consider what’s inside of me.  I believe there is a place of refuge, that I can find, untouchable by circumstances.  Some might call this a spiritual place.  The ancient Hebrews referred to it as the Holy of Holies.

Cynthia Bourgeault writes of this spiritual place when she describes,

“Everything that’s good, everything that’s abiding, everything that’s worthy, everything that’s generative about a human being arises on the other side of our fear….”

This is part of my Learn Forward journey of faith as a leader.  When I realize,

“Who we are is held in the love of God from before time…”

I can move forward with courage.  Indeed, my fear is transformed.  I can rest and lead with a new sense of what matters most.

Of course, we will continue doing everything we can to keep children and families safe and healthy AND we’ll abide in the safest places of our ‘faith.’

Recently, I encouraged our school community to ‘lean into faith’ as we embark on this new school year.  It is our faith guiding us to the securest “safe harbour” and encouraging us to move forward with “brave.”

Truly, our faith gives us the courage to be all we are meant to be!

For the sake of the children,

Karine Veldhoen