Just look at ‘all of you’ on my Facebook feed! Moms and Dads out there in the beautiful sunshine with your children, some of you skiing, some of you cooking, some of you volunteering, and some of you sharing moments of success and achievement. There are so many moments of sumptuous beauty.
Parenting…isn’t it so amazing?!?
It was SO wonderful when my children all arrived home for our weekend together! You know, I love it when “all my birds are in the nest.” Some of you who co-parent might know how that feels.
My parenting weekend was filled with joy too! All three birds in my nest. There was giggling, tears, prayers, great food, belly laughs, super snacks, walks, and foot rubs. We served each other, hugged each other, cheered each other, and listened.
It’s always such pure delight!
Okay, who am I kidding! Trying to joke with you a bit, but I’ll admit my humour and hyperbole may not have come through perfectly in print.
The truth is…
Parenting is, by far, the most difficult endeavour in my life! I have three fabulous children, D-Ray (age 19), A. (age almost 18), and G (age 4-1/2); a boy and two girls! They are great kids. It’s not at all their fault. It just isn’t easy.
Last week, I wrote about the sacred work of teachers.
This week, I’d like to consider the sacred work of parents. It feels like a big topic. It’s more difficult for me to write about. Why? Because I’ve failed so much more gloriously as a parent.
My children have seen the depth of my weakness as a human being. You see, it can come easily to be self-absorbed, impatient, and irritable. AND, I have the image of perfection in my mind of a generous and kind mother. It is a recipe for mess-up, anxiety, and imperfection.
The secret is out. I don’t feel like a super-mom. Mostly, I’m a learner. At each new challenge and each new season, I am trying to ‘figure it out.’ I am trying to focus on what matters most, the birthplace of the Learn Forward Model.
So, what is sacred about what we do as parents? The whole pie of parenting, not just the delicious filling, make it sacred.
You see, in my work, I see parents desperate to be connected with their children, fighting through the agony of ‘my child is different,’ being sassed in the hallway, or dealing with yet another meltdown.
I know there are sleepless nights, broken dreams, and bills piling up. I see you. I am you!
After the dark night of the soul, it is sacred work to celebrate your child and celebrate life!
We’ve all done it. After the failure, after the fight, after the fall, we’ve gotten up again.
Did you read the headlines this week?
- The Collapse of Parenting: Why It’s Time for Parents to Grow Up
- Physician to Parents: You’re Doing It Wrong
It’s completely discouraging. While these are great articles and I actually agree with them, the headlines tear my heart out. Yes, we must come together to address the cultural issues that leave us struggling with too much information, not enough time, and a complete dismantling of our common sense. But, it won’t help to feel like we’re all messing it up all the time, parents or teachers.
We need to come together at the Table of Learning. Let’s make a shift together.
For about 13 years or more of a child’s life, the most powerful relationships are between parents and a child’s teachers. At the Table of Learning we can shift culture to help children thrive. We can say, we’re listening and growing. We’re not all going to do it wrong or wander around immaturely. We are going to learn!
You see, my facebook feed isn’t just a bunch of mothers taking selfies to brag, it is our hearts coming together to remind ourselves that we will rise again!
Our sacred work as parents is to show up as learners, ready to try again.
It starts with a simple acknowledgement, like The Builder keeps telling me, ‘we’re doin’ good!‘ Then, we can celebrate the children we have! We can celebrate our lives! Amidst the week of blue Monday, the dreary days of winter, and the weight of the weary, we can continue to cheer! We can nourish our sacred work and help children thrive.
Wishing you goodness…
For the sake of the children,